Healing Heart Ministries: Shame

Saturday, April 26, 2014

Shame

If you have ever or are now dealing with issues of shame, you know it's a horrible thing. It's kind of like this monkey on your back and you never quite know how to get rid of it.

As a child, I grew up in a home that my parents rented; it was a farm house with some acreage in fields and some old out buildings. It was right on the river and in the country, so the location was great, but the house had no indoor plumbing. We lived there from the time I was about 6 or 7 until I was 19.

It was a constant source of shame for me...the fact that we had no bathroom, no running water in the kitchen either. I used to be afraid that the kids on the school bus would see our outhouse in the back yard and I imagined the incessant teasing that would result. I hated to even think about it.

One day, some family friends had come over and their eldest daughter had never been to the house before. She asked to use the bathroom and when she was told there was no bathroom, she blurted out, "Well, how do you take a bath?" She had this look of disgust on her face...I'll never forget it.

I remember just being mortified. All of a sudden, I felt very dirty. I was fairly young at the time, maybe 9 or 10, but I felt so bad. It was like this blanket of shame was put on top of me, and it stayed there for many years. It was a heavy blanket.

There was another incident, which in hindsight seems very trivial, but at the time, for me, it was anything but trivial. It was a hot summer day and I had asked my dad if we could go and get an ice cream cone at the A&W Drive-In. He looked at me and somewhat gruffly told me, "We can't afford it." I remember just standing there, staring at him and thinking 'How poor are we if we can't even afford an ice cream cone?' More shame.

Satan was making sure that I would grow up with a great sense of shame. There were other things that happened in my childhood, including my dad's suicide, that succeeded in piling on more shame. We lived in a small community, so the whole town knew and talked about it. Even at my father's funeral, there was a lady sitting behind me in the pews. She apparently didn't realize that I was his daughter because she proceeded to tell the person sitting next to her, "You know, he committed suicide by hanging himself." I spun my head around to her and said, "Yes, he did." It was an awful moment for me. My younger brother didn't want to face the kids at school and have to hear them talking about it, so he quit school. It just goes to show the way satan operates. He comes to steal, kill and destroy.

This is why it's so important to be born-again into God's family, where there is no shame. It's vital to renew our minds to the Word of Christ and know who we are in Him. Hebrews 12:2 says, "looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." What this awesome verse of scripture tells us is that Jesus took all of our shame on the cross. He bore it so that we don't have to anymore. I've been freed from shame, forever!

An interesting note: Another meaning for the word 'shame' is 'disgrace.' [Dis-grace; without grace]

It's not an easy thing to write about very personal circumstances that have taken place in one's life, but I'm doing so because I don't want to see others trapped in their sin and shame. There are some other painful things that happened to me growing up, but through Jesus I have forgiven them and don't want to inflict pain on them by exposing what happened. I want to give God glory for allowing me to forgive, so that they.. and I can walk free.

There is a way out and Jesus is the Way...just give him

your life and ask Him to do something with it.

If you belong to God, there is no more shame for you or upon you. You are His; He has adopted you into His family; you are dearly loved as His child. Know the truth and the truth shall make you free! Receive His promise today.